Saturday, March 31, 2012

Last night was crazy!!! Our son appears at our door in the middle of the night. Somehow I sense him before he speaks. He says...."I'm 30." I shout at my husband and fly out of bed. Not easy, since I have arthritis. I am once again surprised at the effectiveness of adrenaline.
His best friend is staying overnight and he appears to be taking it all in with wide eyes and a stiff, nearby hovering stance. My son is eat raw hotdogs .Lots of them. I get him to drink juice. He wants to walk around. He wants to lie down on the floor.I tell him he can't lie on the floor or close his eyes. I want to scream. I'm tired and terrified at the same time. I hold myself together... actually God does that as I keep setting the timer to recheck to see if his blood sugar is climbing. It does.
We finally all go to bed and set the alarm for one hour. My husband gets up this time. He has gone low again. Milk and another alarm setting. He levels out and then we pass out. My daughter manages to sleep through the whole thing.Another thank you God moment. She has Sensory Processing disorder and this would be a hard thing for her to deal with.
I find out in the morning that my son was laying down to go to sleep as he was crashing. For whatever reason, maybe boys being boys, my son's buddy smacked his face, rousing him and then causing him to realize he was low. Then he checked and saw "30". 30!!!!!!!!! 
Stevie, I am grateful to you. Your" thirteen year old boys's will be boys, sleep- over face smack" probably saved Abe's life. For every time I have scolded you for horsing around at bedtime, I take it back. Thank you for messing around.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Finally getting started...

Welcome to our life.
It may end up sounding a lot like yours. Sorry for the redundancy or maybe I should say, Hooray!- someone else understands what it's like and truly we aren't alone. I guess walking together and understanding each other is not's sanity saving.

I am a mom of a 13 year old man/child with type 1. He is beautiful, talented and incredibly hard to figure out.
He was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of 7. Memorial weekend. And it was. I was both grateful that he survived and in shock, somehow knowing that our lives just shifted dramatically. Really, I had no idea... maybe just an inkling. That was probably a good thing. Reality in doses is always so much easier to swallow.

It has been a ride. Not one you really want to stand in line for. More like the one that a friend drags you onto.
Right now it feels like we are stuck on the" loop de loop" part upside down. Disconcerting and a little desperate.
 I am trying to understand how he feels but he's not talking. I know... he's 13 and I'm his mom. I know how I feel. So does he. I have never really had difficulty sharing my thoughts or opinions. I try to keep things open and obvious in the hopes that he'll join in. Not so far. So I lay out bait and wait.
It's weird. Puberty and diabetes seem to have a lot in common. They both kind of take over, mess with your head and make you want to isolate from your parents. I'm imagining how it must feel inside of him.... two invaders fighting for space. Wow.
I may not understand how diabetes feels but I sure remember puberty. Oh, yeah.
 I'm at least half way there, right?
More to come....